Tuesday, June 1, 2010
life is good, here's why for me
So I have to go through this bullshit surgery and get chemo and wonder how many months/years I'll be around, and the list goes on..... but it's totally worth it. I woke up with a smile on my face today and still feel like I'm one of the lucky ones. Somewhere along the line I started on a path that has never failed to bring me back to happiness. It took me a LONG time to get here. I was never intrinsically happy, in fact I was about as cynical and self loathing as you could be. I made a conscious effort to change that about myself and it was actually pretty simple. For me, it only took these four simple realizations: The first thing I had to come to terms with was the fact that no one really cares about you. I don't mean that in a callus way, and of course this isn't true in extreme circumstances, but when you have a conversation with someone and walk away, there's almost a 100% guarantee that that person has refocused their thought process back onto themselves. Try this exercise, try for one day to be cognizant of how much time you spend thinking about yourself. So if everyones pretty much self absorbed, there's no place for them to be thinking about you, so therefore there's no reason to care what they think, at all. There goes insecurity right out the window. Next, instead of beating yourself up, be a friend to yourself. There's enough people in the world who are looking to drag you down into the hole that they're in, but that's really more about them then you. Screw them, be nice to yourself, why not? Enjoy the moment, savor it, it's timeless and therefore dimensionless, you can go as shallow or deep as you want in it baby. Love.