drum roll..again

Angiosarcoma of the Breast, 3cm intermediate grade tumor with good margins but mastectomy anyway. There is is, definitive diagnosis...again. I was sure they would at least say low grade. I can't believe they gave me that week of hope. Pretty upset about that. All I could think when they called this morning is how unfair this is for my babies to have to go through. They are so innocent, they don't know anything about life except what we show them and I'm forced to show them that even if you're fit and eat right and go to school and get a PhD and run marathons and blablabla, you may still wake up one day and have to blog to your closest friends and family about intermediate grade tumors. It's better to know, I hated this past week. I felt totally paralyzed, now I feel like I can move, even if it's only to walk back into the MRI tube, at least I'm not frozen between totally fine and totally f'cked anymore. It's an odd sensation to feel relieved about this, but seriously, not knowing was worst. I'm going to push back my graduation date. I don't feel like I can really focus on science at this particular minute of my life...maybe tomorrow. I'm waiting to talk to my surgeon so we can make plans. The first thing I want to do is get a full body MRI, this thing did not show up on the PET/CT, not even my primary tumor, so I'm not comforted with the no metastic disease diagnosis given after not seeing it spread by that method. Right now, I don't know if this thing is advanced or not. So here we go...waiting. Sorry for the bummer news, I'm not happy to write it, I'll be back to my silly self soon:) And on that note, Have a great day..why not...