Thursday, May 27, 2010

900 ml of barium...really?

I went to get an IV contrast CT today. My thoughts were, go there, get an IV, get a CT, go home. Their thoughts were, go there, drink 900 ml of barium sulphate over the course of an hour, then get an IV, and then get the CT. AHHHH barium sulphate, how chalky and viscous you are. I couldn't finish the entire trough they brought out for me to slurp down, I was about 150 ml shy of the whole enchilada, the tech ensured me that there was plenty of barium in me. they brought me and some dude that must go 300lbs the same amount of barium, those sadistic f'ks, of course there was enough barium inside me, i could have probably taken in a shot glass worth, i'm a little girl. some times i really wonder about the medical profession. when i talked to my surgeon about getting these tests done, he assured me that they had already had the gold standard test and it showed nothing. he really didn't know what to say when i asked him for the third time how much comfort i should take in that since it didn't pick up my primary tumor either. his answer was, "well, there really just isn't any good way to see this disease, but we can try blablabla", 750ml later, here i am. they really just don't know. there are so few cases of this rat bastard kind of cancer that there's no standard treatment. some peoples angiosarcoma show up just fine, mine is like a freaking ghost. so i guess i won't know till i can feel bulges or other side effects poking it's way through my body whether or not this thing is contained or is at this moment all over me. that's comforting. you know how you can convince yourself that you're sick or you have something wrong, but it's all in your head? try it with this cancer, every stupid little thing could actually be metastatic disease. angiosarcoma is a pain in the ass, as well as everywhere else. it was nice to get out of the house though....


  1. They are sadistic rat bas%2ds! Corrie, I am a friend of Blanca's and I hope now a friend of yours. I have been following your blog for a couple weeks now and think of you daily. My thoughts, prayers, and positive thoughts are with you. As a woman, wife, and mom, I support you.

  2. I'd say chalk it up as a learning experience!