Every once in a while, I have to decompress. For the past year and a half, I have lived in a world that has smiling children on the one hand, and indescribable pain on the other. This morning, I was reflecting on some of the saddest moments that have touched me along the way. A mother typing to me with one hand because she was holding her dying child’s hand with the other, describing in real time how horrific it was to feel so helpless; a conversation with a man who is desperate to bring his wife a repreive from the physical agony she's been in for over a year..all the while, hearing her moaning in the background...
These are just a couple of examples of what it's like to live with an open heart in a world filled with despair.
I try my hardest to let these feelings drive me. The one thing I will avoid at any cost is to find a way to become immune to them. I never want to be someone who can be part of either of those conversations and to be just fine with it all. Sometimes this attitude leaves me with tear stains on my black shirts...guess I should pick another color when I feel the need to let these memories take their rightful place.
It sounds like you have learned to be truly present in your life. It is the ability to feel the pain of others that makes us truly human.
ReplyDeleteLu-Ann