"I don't understand this Cor, how can they be telling me that everything looks so bad when I hardly feel anything?" These were the last words that Alyssa said to me a couple weeks ago. Alyssa was going to be the one who beat this beast, she knew she would and because of that, she did. I could say how much she meant to me, how much I respected her, how she was my hero, how I'd never met anyone more alive then her, how her energy was so beautiful you could feel it through a brick wall, how stunningly gorgeous she was inside and out, how optimistic she was, how inspirational she was, how strong she was.....but all these things put her in the past where she doesn't belong.
I've known for a couple days that her passing was imminent and have been feeling around for that callus that's supposed to develop after wounds begin to heal. Maybe it's because there's not enough time between the passing of my friends, or maybe it's because of the depth of these incisions, but I am totally open and fresh, like a spring flower, to the torrents of this pain.
I am infinitely better for knowing her and will try to incorporate her unique ability to shine into every moment of my life and in that way, I hope to honor her. And as we fight, I will always know that Alyssa has her fingerprints all over the dagger that we're lodging into the heart of this beast.