Maddy's 4

When we snuggle and her little legs are curled up against me, she still seems so little, but my Maddy is 4. She's old enough to remember life, to let the moments that are defining her take root in her mind. I was horrified when I thought this disease was going to take me out within months of my diagnosis. The most painful aspect was the thought that my children would have to build a patchwork vision of their mommy upon an unsturdy frame of pictures, videos, this blog and word of mouth..never knowing if their memories were theirs or just reflections of what they saw from 2 dimensional static images. My children know me. They feel my love throughout their growing bodies, they anticipate the next steps in our routine. They will never loose the feeling of my touch, my heart beating next to them, my arms wrapped around them. Happy birthday my beautiful little unicorn, I love being here in the moment with you.