Tuesday, March 10, 2015
It's the greatest honor to know you my anonymous friend.
I know the most extraordinary woman and want to scream her praises from every roof top so that everyone can gain from her amazing perspective. Problem is, she is fiercely defensive about her privacy. She would be very upset with me if I revealed who she was to the world. So I won't. But perhaps I can reveal what she means to me without crossing over the deep lines that she has painstakingly carved in the ephemeral sand.
I will call her CN, the initials represent the pseudonym that we use when 'joking' about her experience as a person living with cancer. There are a number of reasons that CN has opted out of the public eye, most of them will remain with her and only her, but there is one that I am absolutely sure of. She is alive.
There are a number of unfortunate events that often accompany peoples expectations of you when you tell them you have cancer. They no longer think of you as someone rooted in life. They wait for you to die. They tilt their head, thin their lips and offer platitudes. They carefully pick their words. They say the wrong ones. All the time. They cry. They think about their own mortality. They wonder how you could go on. In stark contrast to everything you have built in your life, you become the embodiment of death. The end.
But it's not the end. Not even close. CN is alive, right now. And with that life she is entitled to all the normalcy that any sentient being is afforded. I am moved beyond words by CN. Not because she has cancer, but because she is possibly the most alive person I've ever met. CN doesn't complain, but rather takes action. She doesn't want recognition for her actions, she just wants to see good things happen in this world, and if no one else is doing them, she feels compelled to raise the gauntlet. She is not driven by ego, nor by the desire to leave a legacy, but rather because sometimes in life, you can do things to help others. And if you are lucky enough to be granted that gift, you should run with it as fast and furiously as you can.
CN is teaching me daily how to pull out the very best that life has to offer. I smile when I think about her, I laugh when I reflect on our conversations. I have a deeper sense of gratitude for all that I have as a result of our friendship. I am in awe of her. I love her. She will always be a spring flower to me, offering life to anyone who has the ability to see her beauty.
Here's to you CN, my superhero, my partner in crime, my gracious friend.