Saturday, March 26, 2016

Never Been Better

When I wrote the title for this blog, I was completely shattered. Reeling from the words of my oncologist who told me there'd be 'someone else' to raise my 2 and 4 year old children, trying desperately to erase the images of what angiosarcoma looked like in the literature, dizzy from the vertigo that set it after looking down that steep Kaplan-Meyer curve.

I wrote the title in earnest though. I had never been better. I had a great life. I didn't need be smacked in the face by mortality to suddenly realize that I had been taking things for granted. I lived in the moment, which I still to this day believe is the best measure of a life well lived.

I wrote this blog for my family and friends at first, to let them know where in details of a cancer life I was. I carried it on to let my children know how much I loved them. I wanted them to learn the lessons that I thought would take their entire childhoods to impart. It's more important to live well than to live long. Never live in fear.  Help everyone, all the time and don't expect anything in return. Be silly. Follow the golden rule. Be kind to yourself. Do something. Do everything. Never be bored.

It's been six years. And I know without a shadow of doubt that my kids have learned those lessons. Something as simple as an empathetic look when they see someone who needs help, makes me realize that they get it. All of it. All the important lessons that I was told 'someone else' would teach them, are inextricably woven into their world view.

Now, if only I could get my girls to turn off the TV and clean their rooms....